Why Women Cheat
23 September 2009
*Names below are changed to protect their identities and this article is taken from Cosmopolitan, UK edition.
Sandy* 22, from UK agrees to the title above.
“I think cheating is wrong, so when I began sleeping with someone behind my boyfriend David’s back, it made me realise how unhappy I’d become”. David was her first real love but she says that, over time, they grew apart. “I got bored. He wanted to stay in all the time; I wanted to go out and do things. He didn’t have a proper job so never had much money. I just couldn’t see us having a future together. But he was my first love, I cared about him and I couldn’t bring myself to end it.”
Sandy met Aaron during the brief split from David last year and they had a fling. A few months on, she and David got back together, but she bumped into Aaron again and the pair started sleeping together while David was on a holiday. “Aaron was older, more mature, had a great job and wanted us to go out and do things together.” For Sandy, he was everything David wasn’t.
But Sandy couldn’t sustain her double life. One night David caught her trying to delete an incriminating text from Aaron and soon after, they separated. “I felt so guilty. I couldn’t carry on seeing two guys. But being with Aaron showed me I could be happy with someone else. In a way, it spurred me to end an unhappy relationship.” She and Aaron went on to see each other after that.
Sandy says she wouldn’t be able to forgive someone who cheated on her. “I’d be devastated and would end it there and then. It’d be so hurtful to think he’d needed to go elsewhere. It would really mess me up.”
She had never intended to be unfaithful, and she vows that she will never do it again. “I did it because I genuinely liked the other person. Yes, there was lust there, but it wasn’t just about sex. I just wanted someone to do things together with me. I think men are more likely to sleep with someone they’ve only just met in a club, although I also know plenty of men who wouldn’t dream of cheating.”
According to Brandy*, an infidelity expert, Sandy’’s experience is typical. Women’s primary reasons for straying a desire for intimacy, to feel close to someone or to recapture some feeling of romance. Sex comes to it, but it’s generally much lower down their list. Boredom can play a part too. “Most women cheat as a last resort, because they’re not getting what they want from their partners,” says Brandy.
Brandy says most of the reasons women give for cheating are things that could be easily remedied by a partner who’s willing to make the effort.
*******
I somehow agree to disagree. Sounds confusing, am I?
The question is, WHY WOMEN CHEAT? Wait, does it apply here in Malaysia? This article is taken from UK. I don’t know. May be it does relate to some of you.
As the magazine says, female infidelity is on the rise. Sandy’s case is rather common for these days. You may despise them, you may envy them, you may wish you had it in you, you may be even one of them. Whatever your view may be, women are more and more likely to be unfaithful. Even the infidelity expert, Brandy mentioned that women’s reasons for having affairs are generally more complex.
How complex can this be?
Let’s open up this blog for debates between men and women. 
- 15 Comments »
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Posted by Grace at 4:35 pm
Categorised as Rantings & Thoughts
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
interesting. why is it that when a man cheats its cuz of lust and why is it when women cheats, they have all the best excuses in the world?
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
mayb women cheats to gain attention from her husband
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Men cheat indiscriminately… women cheat, and its like majorly bad…
September 24th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Kevin: I must agree with you on this. Excuses….does that make them more pitiful? Shouldn’t these reasons be applicable to both men and women too…if they were ever true?
Btw, ppl, this topic is on the Star today. There’s also some checkpoints on whether or not your girl is cheating? Not the greatest tips, but it sure is something there.
September 24th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Gerald: lol… saw it in the papers… now all i need is a girl… ROFL
September 24th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Sha: LOL….oh gosh….
September 25th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Great discussion I have here on this topic. Keep ‘em coming, boys!!
September 27th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
lol. sha perhaps you need 4 ?
anyway, on another view point, its interesting to see that the world is progressing from the initial man cheats on wife era to now, woman cheating on man era.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:13 am
perhaps in the past just thinking or fantasizing about being with other men other than their husband was enough for a women, but i guess times r different now…
but there’s quite a distance between thinking about doing something n actually doing it. n i believe for someone, guy or girl, to do something that’ll risk them losing the one they’re with it must mean they weren’t happy enough and something was still lacking…
i have come to think that all men will eventually stray at one point in their lives simply because that’s their nature… so i get into the relationship already anticipating the betrayal thinking if my boy hadn’t cheated yet he definitely will, or if he had already he’d sure as hell do it again…
so the way i see it, if the opportunity comes around with a tempting offer too sweet for me to ignore, why the hell not…?
September 29th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
kevin: i have to agree with you on this era.
michele: i do have the same thinking those days, anticipating that one day the guy will surely betray. but with all said and done, if he really loves me, will he ever betray me? just the same, if i love him so much, will i ever betray him? and all this will boil down, how deep one’s love is… if the love isn’t that strong, i bet any relationship will go astray…
September 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
The meaning of ABCDEFG = A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl;
reserve meaning of it GFEDCBA = Girl Forgets Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again..
HahHAhhAHhaaa..oh well, i agree with michele lin that majority of the men will cheat at one point. i think both men and women cheat not because their love for their partner isn’t strong enough, maybe it is hard to resist the “temptation” or certain people might enjoy the excitement of not-being-caught..or perhaps due to the lack of communication. but i have to say that very often when a woman cheat, it is caused by the lack of attention given to her and if someone comes along who could provide her the attention she yearned for, she’d fall for it. bear in mind, women tend to be more emotional. as for when a men cheat, i couldn’t agree more that it’s most of the time due to lust..
September 30th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
grace: people r unfaithful for so many different reasons n more often than u think love has nothing to do with cheating… being with someone and staying true to him n only him takes more than love, n this applies to him too…
my advice is simply to love him because u love him, because loving him makes u happy… n when u love, love freely, deeply, and above all unconditionally. only then is loving someone worth ur time (and heart)…
but know this, loving someone does not always mean u’d be loved in return or to the same degree. n even if he does, ur love for him doesn’t stop him from causing u pain, in fact, it is the reason why he can. coz think about it, if u dun love him he can’t hurt u, can he…?
it all boils down to how much do u want love as opposed to how much do u not want the pain…
October 1st, 2009 at 12:01 pm
eeling: in some ways, i will agree with u… women r definitely more emotional…
michele: to truly love each other means to have faith, complete trust and openness with one another. i’d rather love unconditionally with complete trust and possibly be devastated than to love with expectation to be betrayed. no one wants pain, but it is always a risk in any relationship. be it the guy or the girl.
hmm i love this topic. it keeps the day pumping!
October 4th, 2009 at 12:48 am
i read an article.
woman and man share same chance of cheating.Due to gender equality:0
no idea hehe
October 21st, 2009 at 5:44 am
Most men are hunters and are always looking for other women- at least in there minds- and most woman are willing to have strong kids, reason why they somethimes are looking for another man for his “genes” cheating can morally be rejected, but biologically it can have reasons morality can’t explain.
But people who love each other try to stop these biological pulses and stay together, when in trouble they search advice. This is also the reason I created a blog about this http://doyoulove.info